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Electrawoman · 05-07-02, 09:48 AM

It has recently come to my attention that some people think my reviews are exaggerated or enhanced. Well, I am here to tell you that what you are about to read is the honest-to-gods truth!

Road Trip Trauma
For Tammy's birthday and to get away from things at home, we took a weekend vacation to The Arlington Spa in Hot Springs Arkansas. We decided it was a go-girl weekend and we were going to relax and have fun and not worry about the usual stuff (house, boys, work, etc.). I bought a spa package that included a theapuetic hot springs bath and massage for two. It was ON!

We were in my car with a broken air conditioner, a busted headlight, and a driver's side window that won't roll down in 100-degree heat. We weren't really feeling too glamorous. But we had all the right music (Rev Paul CDs plus a bunch of girly stuff like Grease and the Legally Blonde soundtracks) and we looked cute.

Tammy decided that for the true touch of Ghetto Fabulousness, we needed bandanas to wear on our heads. (just like Thelma and Louise). We searched every convenience store from here to Arkansas. Finally, we found some bandanas and settled on two. Mine had a picture of a wild indian, riding a horse and Tammy chose the traditional red.

We stopped to eat at Nana's Diner in a small town along the way. The food was great and the service was good, but when it came time to pay, we had our first problem. Tammy left her money at home and I forgot to go to the ATM altogether. Between us, we had about 6 dollars. In Dallas, this is no probem, just use your check card and be on your way. But in Podunk Arkansas, no cards are accepted. I left Tammy at the table for collateral and ran off to find an ATM machine.

While I was gone, Tammy was visited by the local police (who stopped in the diner for a bite) and I found out that, in Arkansas, you can get cash from an ATM in 5-dollar increments. I came back, grabbed Tammy, paid the bill, and sniffed the coca cola candle on the counter while we waited for our waitress to finish serving the cops. I felt bad for her. She kept giving us the look that said, "Get me the hell out of this town". I think she wanted to go with us but alas, there was no room for another angry girl in the car.

We got to Highway 7 around 9 p.m. For the next half hour, I gripped the steering wheel and tried my best to get down that street alive. The road is pitch black and VERY curvy. It is a scary road and I couldn't see more than 3 feet in front of me. What's worse is, I was leading the way with a line of pissed off drivers behind me and Marilyn Manson singing Tainted Love on the stereo. Tammy thought this would be the perfect time to tell me ghost stories so by the time we got into town, I was a nervous wreck. I needed a drink so we commenced looking for bars. Unfortunately, all the bar signs had the word saloon in them and we weren't about to go to no country bar in Arkansas. No ma'am.

The hotel turned out to be a 75-year-old historic building. It is directly across the street from Hot Springs National Park. We were also next to the aquarium and wax museum. The town looked busy with people milling around outside and in the hotel lobby bar. We quickly checked in and went up to the room.

No sooner had we set our bags down than the phone was ringing. Paul was checking to make sure we made it while Tammy tried to call Joom at Kempis. Tammy was put on hold, only to be told by Joom's bitch-ass boss, Lisa, that he couldn't have personal calls all of a sudden. Lisa needs an ass-beatin'.

The Town of Hot Springs
We quickly put on our swimsuits and headed out for the spring pools. These are the magickal pools of mineral water that are supposed to cure all your ills. People swear by them. In fact, Randy told me before I left that there really is "something in the water" and I couldn't wait to relax in a hot bubblin' tub.

There were several people in the pool and the general topic of conversation seemed to be "Where are you from and how long did it take you to get here?" Stimulating. We lasted about 20 minutes and then went on the search for fun.

By the time we changed our clothes, the whole town had died. The lobby bar was empty and the streets were dead quiet. It was 10 p.m. We walked up and down the strip and saw maybe three people. There wasn't even a restaurant open. We went back to the hotel lobby bar and tried to get the scoop on area nightlife. "What area nightlife?" was the general reponse. We read every traveler's guide and looked at all the local papers. The town has an after-hours drink permit (drinking is allowed until 5:30 a.m.) but we couldn't find one club.

The bartender finally gave us the scoop on the only two nightclubs in town (Boogies and Chill) and we rushed outside to get a cab. We decided we would go to "Chill" because going to "Boogies" just sounded wrong. The bellman called a cab and we waited.

45 minutes later, there is still no cab. We were enjoying the Arkansas wildlife as we watched a racoon traipse around the parking garage looking for food. I could have watched him all night but I could tell that Tammy was getting pissed and tired of waiting there.

The bellman came over and offered to give us a ride. Since he was a hotel employee, we trusted him and hopped into his Sleek-Ride Caddy. He put the keys in the ignition and then ran off to do "one more thing, ladies". Tammy and I were trippin on his accent and decided that we would talk real slow all night so people wouldn't think we were tourists.

He sped down the road, passing right by club "Chill". I was glad because club Chill was covered in gangsters and I didn't want to be left there. But then I started to worry. Where was this dude taking us? before I had a chance to communicate with Tammy about this possible danger and form a plan of attack, we arrived safe and sound at "Boogies".

(continued below)

05-07-02, 09:48 AM	#1 (permalink)
Electrawoman Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Dallas Texas Posts: 64	Betty and Tammy's Ghetto Fabulous Hillbilly Holiday It has recently come to my attention that some people think my reviews are exaggerated or enhanced. Well, I am here to tell you that what you are about to read is the honest-to-gods truth! Road Trip Trauma For Tammy's birthday and to get away from things at home, we took a weekend vacation to The Arlington Spa in Hot Springs Arkansas. We decided it was a go-girl weekend and we were going to relax and have fun and not worry about the usual stuff (house, boys, work, etc.). I bought a spa package that included a theapuetic hot springs bath and massage for two. It was ON! We were in my car with a broken air conditioner, a busted headlight, and a driver's side window that won't roll down in 100-degree heat. We weren't really feeling too glamorous. But we had all the right music (Rev Paul CDs plus a bunch of girly stuff like Grease and the Legally Blonde soundtracks) and we looked cute. Tammy decided that for the true touch of Ghetto Fabulousness, we needed bandanas to wear on our heads. (just like Thelma and Louise). We searched every convenience store from here to Arkansas. Finally, we found some bandanas and settled on two. Mine had a picture of a wild indian, riding a horse and Tammy chose the traditional red. We stopped to eat at Nana's Diner in a small town along the way. The food was great and the service was good, but when it came time to pay, we had our first problem. Tammy left her money at home and I forgot to go to the ATM altogether. Between us, we had about 6 dollars. In Dallas, this is no probem, just use your check card and be on your way. But in Podunk Arkansas, no cards are accepted. I left Tammy at the table for collateral and ran off to find an ATM machine. While I was gone, Tammy was visited by the local police (who stopped in the diner for a bite) and I found out that, in Arkansas, you can get cash from an ATM in 5-dollar increments. I came back, grabbed Tammy, paid the bill, and sniffed the coca cola candle on the counter while we waited for our waitress to finish serving the cops. I felt bad for her. She kept giving us the look that said, "Get me the hell out of this town". I think she wanted to go with us but alas, there was no room for another angry girl in the car. We got to Highway 7 around 9 p.m. For the next half hour, I gripped the steering wheel and tried my best to get down that street alive. The road is pitch black and VERY curvy. It is a scary road and I couldn't see more than 3 feet in front of me. What's worse is, I was leading the way with a line of pissed off drivers behind me and Marilyn Manson singing Tainted Love on the stereo. Tammy thought this would be the perfect time to tell me ghost stories so by the time we got into town, I was a nervous wreck. I needed a drink so we commenced looking for bars. Unfortunately, all the bar signs had the word saloon in them and we weren't about to go to no country bar in Arkansas. No ma'am. The hotel turned out to be a 75-year-old historic building. It is directly across the street from Hot Springs National Park. We were also next to the aquarium and wax museum. The town looked busy with people milling around outside and in the hotel lobby bar. We quickly checked in and went up to the room. No sooner had we set our bags down than the phone was ringing. Paul was checking to make sure we made it while Tammy tried to call Joom at Kempis. Tammy was put on hold, only to be told by Joom's bitch-ass boss, Lisa, that he couldn't have personal calls all of a sudden. Lisa needs an ass-beatin'. The Town of Hot Springs We quickly put on our swimsuits and headed out for the spring pools. These are the magickal pools of mineral water that are supposed to cure all your ills. People swear by them. In fact, Randy told me before I left that there really is "something in the water" and I couldn't wait to relax in a hot bubblin' tub. There were several people in the pool and the general topic of conversation seemed to be "Where are you from and how long did it take you to get here?" Stimulating. We lasted about 20 minutes and then went on the search for fun. By the time we changed our clothes, the whole town had died. The lobby bar was empty and the streets were dead quiet. It was 10 p.m. We walked up and down the strip and saw maybe three people. There wasn't even a restaurant open. We went back to the hotel lobby bar and tried to get the scoop on area nightlife. "What area nightlife?" was the general reponse. We read every traveler's guide and looked at all the local papers. The town has an after-hours drink permit (drinking is allowed until 5:30 a.m.) but we couldn't find one club. The bartender finally gave us the scoop on the only two nightclubs in town (Boogies and Chill) and we rushed outside to get a cab. We decided we would go to "Chill" because going to "Boogies" just sounded wrong. The bellman called a cab and we waited. 45 minutes later, there is still no cab. We were enjoying the Arkansas wildlife as we watched a racoon traipse around the parking garage looking for food. I could have watched him all night but I could tell that Tammy was getting pissed and tired of waiting there. The bellman came over and offered to give us a ride. Since he was a hotel employee, we trusted him and hopped into his Sleek-Ride Caddy. He put the keys in the ignition and then ran off to do "one more thing, ladies". Tammy and I were trippin on his accent and decided that we would talk real slow all night so people wouldn't think we were tourists. He sped down the road, passing right by club "Chill". I was glad because club Chill was covered in gangsters and I didn't want to be left there. But then I started to worry. Where was this dude taking us? before I had a chance to communicate with Tammy about this possible danger and form a plan of attack, we arrived safe and sound at "Boogies". (continued below) Last edited by Electrawoman; 05-07-02 at 10:44 AM.