[cyberina]

Another day, another round of absolute ridiculousness.

Tonight involved the use of vomit as a dramatic tool.

I finally got to sit down to homework at 9:30, which was about 2 hours after I had planned, but see above. I wasn't truly left alone until 11:30.

I thought long and hard about my classload.
I am going to go ahead and drop piano because I can retake it next spring without a problem.. I have a failing grade currently because my off-campus internship makes me just late enough to class to miss a lot of the weekly quizzes (no, I didn't set it up that way... I had signed up for piano, then the internship time and site was assigned a month later rather inconveniently for my piano class location and time). I have an piano performance exam on Thursday that I'm OBVIOUSLY not going to get to practice for tonight, and I have class until 8:30p tomorrow which doesn't allow for much practice time since I won't get home until 9:30.

Withdrawing from piano would still leave me with an 18 hour classload, though.

Many of my classes I'm getting As in, actually.

There's one class that I'm not doing well in that I simply cannot retake without extending my graduation date, but its repairable if I can concentrate on it. I did the same class once before (I have to do it 4 times) with essentially the same material and it was a breeze, but it involves a lot of song memorization on a lot of instruments, and I just haven't been able to get in an appropriate amount of practice time. An instructor has offered me makeups and tutoring, and I think I'm gunna take advantage of it. If I do, I'm sure to pass with higher than a C, and I might even get opportunity for summertime experience as a volunteer, which is good for resume stuffs when applying for my final internship site (which is often where one winds up working).

I still have one class that I'm not too sure on. Its a class I could take any semester. I'm not doing well at all, but I'm positive I can keep it at a C or higher. I'd like to do better. I know the material hands down, but I keep missing assignments. I do well on tests, though. They are changing textbooks after this semester, and its an expensive book. If I dropped it in addition to piano, I'd be back down to a much more reasonable 15 hour class load.

It might be good for my sanity.
I don't have much of that in my life right now, so I welcome any opportunities for it.

Now.... I'm going to get back to my homework now that i'm nice and calmed down and thinking about school instead of about how crazy I'm going.

I have to figure out how to end this cycle of insanity without driving myself insane first.

I can start by simply NOT leaving campus until my homework is done.


And I'm also thinking that I need to use my blogs or something for this bullshit until I can get it wiped clean.