My kiddo has a birthday this weekend and she needs a new bike. So yesterday I went down to super target and found a pimp Schwinn that she will love. The one on the rack had been beat up a little from being on display so I tracked down one of the red shirts and asked him to go grab me a brand new one still in the box out of the back. After about 10 minutes he comes back empty handed and says that they are not allowed to sell bikes that are not assembled I just need to grab what I want off the rack and take it up front.
I bring the kid over and point out the grimy black kid hand prints on the seat, the torn pads on the handle bars, the scratches, and the bent rim from being lifted in and out of the rack by countless morons. I explain to him that I can assemble a bike myself, I dont want one that has been on display...just get me a brand new bike in the box unopened. He disapeared again and about 15 minutes later comes back with a assembled bike. Again he tells me that they cant sell bikes unassembled by store policy, but this one was just assembled so everything is brand new. Sure enough everything is still in the plastic down to the wheels themselves. So I grab the bike buy it and take it home. After I get it home I start to pull the plastic off everything and realize that someone put the brakes on backwards, the wheels are on crooked, and they left off the bolt that you use to adjust the seat so you cant raise it. Sure I can fix all of these problems myself, but there is no way in hell I am going to mess with it after they flat refused to sell me something that was not "professionally assembled."
I get back to the store to exchange the bike, get up to the counter and explain the problem to the customer service clerk. I tell him that I want to exchange the bike for one that is assembled properly, or one that is unopened and still in the box. Turns out that they have another policy that wont let me exchange the bike for another bike, instead they offer "free repair for 90 days." Trying to keep my cool a little, I say fine have whoever assembled this thing come up here swap the brakes, straighten up the wheels and put in the seat bolt so I can get out of here.
Turns out that would be all to easy, they dont do the free repairs on site they send it back to the manufacturer to "repair" it....and then he points out that "its free and only takes 5-7 days." This was the point where I lost it, and explained to the little prick that its not broken in need of repair, ITS ASSEMBLED IMPROPERLY and if they had allowed me to assemble the damn thing myself like I asked in the first place this wouldn't be a problem, give me a new bike in a box or give me my money back on this one so I can buy a bike someplace thats not operated by dipshits. At his point I have managed to attract the attention of the security guard and the store manager who came to ask me to calm down or I would be asked to leave the store. I figure the store manager might have a little common sense so I rehash the entire process to him. He responds to me by saying "we dont allow customers to assemble bikes because they might assemble them wrong and that might void the warranty. We do offer free repairs on bikes and we would be glad to repair this bike for you at no cost!" I lost all control by this point in explaining the absurdity of them expecting me to pay money for a product that his store fucked up, and wanting me to wait 7 days for it to be fixed despite the fact that they have more of them in the store and the entire time I just wanted one in the box to avoid this type of problem in the first place.
Anyway so now I have no bike for my kiddo, I wasted an entire night of my life, and Im no longer allowed to shop in the Denton Super Target. I feel like I spent an evening in the Twilight Zone or something.
