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05-10-06, 12:20 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| squeaky clean  Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: this ][ close
Posts: 12,124
 | Halliburton Solves Global Warming
May 9, 2006 FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE HALLIBURTON SOLVES GLOBAL WARMING SurvivaBalls save managers from abrupt climate change An advanced new technology will keep corporate managers safe even when climate change makes life as we know it impossible. "The SurvivaBall is designed to protect the corporate manager no matter what Mother Nature throws his or her way," said Fred Wolf, a Halliburton representative who spoke today at the Catastrophic Loss conference held at the Ritz-Carlton hotel in Amelia Island, Florida. "This technology is the only rational response to abrupt climate change," he said to an attentive and appreciative audience. Most scientists believe global warming is certain to cause an accelerating onslaught of hurricanes, floods, droughts, tornadoes, etc. and that a world-destroying disaster is increasingly possible. For example, Arctic melt has slowed the Gulf Stream by 30% in just the last decade; if the Gulf Stream stops, Europe will suddenly become just as cold as Alaska. Global heat and flooding events are also increasingly possible. In order to head off such catastrophic scenarios, scientists agree we must reduce our carbon emissions by 70% within the next few years. Doing that would seriously undermine corporate profits, however, and so a more forward-thinking solution is needed. At today's conference, Wolf and a colleague demonstrated three SurvivaBall mockups, and described how the units will sustainably protect managers from natural or cultural disturbances of any intensity or duration. The devices - looking like huge inflatable orbs - will include sophisticated communications systems, nutrient gathering capacities, onboard medical facilities, and a daunting defense infrastructure to ensure that the corporate mission will not go unfulfilled even when most human life is rendered impossible by catastrophes or the consequent epidemics and armed conflicts. "It's essentially a gated community for one," said Wolf. Dr. Northrop Goody, the head of Halliburton's Emergency Products Development Unit, showed diagrams and videos describing the SurvivaBall's many features. "Much as amoebas link up into slime molds when threatened, SurvivaBalls also fulfill a community function. After all, people need people," noted Goody as he showed an artist's rendition of numerous SurvivaBalls linking up to form a managerial aggregate with functional differentiation, metaphorically dancing through the streets of Houston, Texas. The conference attendees peppered the duo with questions. One asked how the device would fare against terrorism, another whether the array of embedded technologies might make the unit too cumbersome; a third brought up the issue of the unit's cost feasibility. Wolf and Goody assured the audience that these problems and others were being addressed. "The SurvivaBall builds on Halliburton's reputation as a disaster and conflict industry innovator," said Wolf. "Just as the Black Plague led to the Renaissance and the Great Deluge gave Noah a monopoly of the animals, so tomorrow's catastrophes could well lead to good - and industry must be ready to seize that good." Goody also noted that Jean-Michel Cousteau's Ocean Futures Society was set to employ the SurvivaBall as part of its Corporate Sustenance (R) program. Another of Cousteau's CSR programs involves accepting a generous sponsorship from the Dow Chemical Corporation, whose general shareholder meeting is May 11. Please visit http://www.halliburtoncontracts.com/EPDU/ for photos, video, and text of today's presentation.
__________________ "Don't fight darkness. Bring the light, and darkness will disappear" -MMY |
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05-10-06, 12:55 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| squeaky clean Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: this ][ close
Posts: 12,124
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i don't know. it was in my inbox this morning & i don't remember signing up for the halliburton p.r. emails. but yeah, it seems to have actually come from the company. i had to share it with u guys cause it is too crazy for me to figure out on my own. anyone know? this line makes me really suspicious that it is a joke: "In order to head off such catastrophic scenarios, scientists agree we must reduce our carbon emissions by 70% within the next few years. Doing that would seriously undermine corporate profits, however, and so a more forward-thinking solution is needed."
__________________ "Don't fight darkness. Bring the light, and darkness will disappear" -MMY |
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05-10-06, 01:13 PM
| #3 (permalink) | |
| an apparition  Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 38,665
| Quote:
So, if the world hasn't been wrecked by catastophic scenarios in the next few years we can call the scientists bullshit artists on par with the guys that said the world would end with Haley's comet? FTR - yes, we need to put less carbon into the air but predictions of the end of the world absent 70% reduction of emissions in the next few years simply makes the author and scientists look like Chicken Little and makes people like me think they're cooks worthy of ridicule - - when if fact its an important issue - - alarmist statement like the one I bolded serve counter-productive purposes - - grrrr lets hope its a joke | |
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05-10-06, 01:51 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| squeaky clean Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: this ][ close
Posts: 12,124
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how forward thinking is putting ppl in plastic bubbles? even if its space-age plastic. & how does this correct the weather issues involved with global warming? i don't get it.
__________________ "Don't fight darkness. Bring the light, and darkness will disappear" -MMY |
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05-10-06, 01:52 PM
| #5 (permalink) | |
| an apparition Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 38,665
| Quote:
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05-10-06, 02:10 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Funky Spunk  Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: take a left at the cow
Posts: 17,137
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__________________ "We're so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget that the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it's all about." --Joseph Campbell, |
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05-10-06, 02:57 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
 Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: complacency
Posts: 293
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Ya'll aren't taking this seriously are you? The entire article was written tongue-in-cheek, meaning that the author was obviously molested by corporate bigshots as a child and is forever bitter at big business. Oh, and this anonymous person somehow thinks the energy and power companies are directly responsible for global warming, yet still demands millions of gallons of fuel a year for their gas-guzzling SUV and speedboat.
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05-10-06, 03:01 PM
| #8 (permalink) | |
| squeaky clean Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: this ][ close
Posts: 12,124
| Quote:
thank u nando. can't believe i got snowed by a mirror-site. thass what ddm is for.
__________________ "Don't fight darkness. Bring the light, and darkness will disappear" -MMY | |
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05-10-06, 03:17 PM
| #10 (permalink) | |
| Right Wing Conspirator  Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Fort Worth
Posts: 4,095
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Address lookup canonical name halliburtoncontracts.com. aliases addresses 64.115.210.58 Domain Whois record Queried whois.internic.net with "dom halliburtoncontracts.com"... Whois Server Version 1.3 Domain Name: HALLIBURTONCONTRACTS.COM Registrar: GANDI Whois Server: whois.gandi.net Referral URL: http://www.gandi.net Name Server: NS7.GANDI.NET Name Server: CUSTOM2.GANDI.NET Status: REGISTRAR-LOCK Updated Date: 09-jan-2006 Creation Date: 29-dec-2005 Expiration Date: 29-dec-2006 Queried whois.gandi.net with "halliburtoncontracts.com"... % GANDI Registrar whois database for .COM, .NET, .ORG., .INFO, .BIZ, .NAME % % Access and use restricted pursuant to French law on personal data. % Copy of whole or part of the data without permission from GANDI % is strictly forbidden. % The sole owner of a domain is the entity described in the relevant % 'domain:' record. % Domain ownership disputes should be settled using ICANN's Uniform Dispute % Resolution Policy: http://www.icann.org/udrp/udrp.htm % % Acces et utilisation soumis a la legislation francaise sur % les donnees personnelles. % Copie de tout ou partie de la base interdite sans autorisation de GANDI. % Le possesseur d'un domaine est l'entite decrite dans % l'enregistrement 'domain:' correspondant. % Un desaccord sur la possession d'un nom de domaine peut etre resolu % en suivant la Uniform Dispute Resolution Policy de l'ICANN: % http://www.icann.org/udrp/udrp.htm % % Date: 2006/05/10 21:21:54 domain: HALLIBURTONCONTRACTS.COM owner-name: Alfred Barbalunga owner-address: 616 Avenue of the Americas owner-address: 12211 owner-address: New York owner-address: United States of America owner-phone: +1.9172224382 owner-e-mail: 72fa30911a083bab437e734e13d8893f-954564@owner.gandi.net admin-c: AB2145-GANDI tech-c: AR41-GANDI bill-c: AB2145-GANDI nserver: ns7.gandi.net 217.70.177.44 nserver: custom2.gandi.net 217.70.179.35 reg_created: 2005-12-29 20:43:30 expires: 2006-12-29 20:43:30 created: 2005-12-29 21:43:31 changed: 2006-01-09 15:21:07 person: Alfred Barbalunga nic-hdl: AB2145-GANDI address: 616 Avenue of the Americas address: 12211 address: New York address: United States of America phone: +1.9172224382 e-mail: AlfredBarablunga@gatt.org lastupdated: 2005-12-29 21:31:05 person: GANDI Auto Register 4.1 nic-hdl: AR41-GANDI address: GANDI address: 15 place de la Nation address: F-75011 address: Paris address: France phone: N/A e-mail: support@gandi.net lastupdated: 2006-03-09 15:53:29 Network Whois record Queried whois.arin.net with "64.115.210.58"... OrgName: Broadview Networks OrgID: BRNT Address: 400 Horsham Road Address: Suite 130 City: Horsham StateProv: PA PostalCode: 19044 Country: US ReferralServer: rwhois://a.rwhois.broadviewnet.net:4321 NetRange: 64.115.0.0 - 64.115.255.255 CIDR: 64.115.0.0/16 NetName: BROADVIEWNET-BLK1 NetHandle: NET-64-115-0-0-1 Parent: NET-64-0-0-0-0 NetType: Direct Allocation NameServer: A.NS.BROADVIEWNET.NET NameServer: B.NS.BROADVIEWNET.NET Comment: RegDate: 2000-06-30 Updated: 2003-07-10 OrgAbuseHandle: ABUSE675-ARIN OrgAbuseName: Abuse OrgAbusePhone: +1-800-276-2384 OrgAbuseEmail: abuse@broadviewnet.net OrgTechHandle: ISPOP-ARIN OrgTechName: ISP Operations OrgTechPhone: +1-800-276-2384 OrgTechEmail: isp-noc@broadviewnet.net # ARIN WHOIS database, last updated 2006-05-09 19:10 # Enter ? for additional hints on searching ARIN's WHOIS database. DNS records name class type data time to live halliburtoncontracts.com IN A 64.115.210.58 28800s (08:00:00) halliburtoncontracts.com IN MX preference: 0 exchange: rtmark.com 28800s (08:00:00) halliburtoncontracts.com IN NS ns7.gandi.net 28800s (08:00:00) halliburtoncontracts.com IN NS custom2.gandi.net 28800s (08:00:00) halliburtoncontracts.com IN SOA server: ns7.gandi.net email: hostmaster.gandi.net serial: 1136816467 refresh: 43200 retry: 3600 expire: 604800 minimum ttl: 43200 43200s (12:00:00) 58.210.115.64.in-addr.arpa IN PTR rtmark.com 86400s (1.00:00:00) -- end --
__________________ Life itself is only a vision; a dream. Nothing exists except empty space and you. And you, are but a thought. Quote:
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05-10-06, 03:26 PM
| #12 (permalink) |
| squeaky clean Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: this ][ close
Posts: 12,124
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technology is cool i don't speak the language, but its awesome nyteshade is a rockstar. so yea what juby said... can we have the extra short version in beta-english? pull the mask off, scooby!!
__________________ "Don't fight darkness. Bring the light, and darkness will disappear" -MMY |
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05-10-06, 03:26 PM
| #13 (permalink) | |
| an apparition Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 38,665
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05-10-06, 03:29 PM
| #14 (permalink) | |
| Right Wing Conspirator Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Fort Worth
Posts: 4,095
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Short version: Site's legal section claims the servers are located in Houston, TX. A domain check shows the site's owner to be in New York and the originator is in Pennsylvania. The registration information is stored with gandi.com in Paris for some reason.
__________________ Life itself is only a vision; a dream. Nothing exists except empty space and you. And you, are but a thought. Quote:
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05-10-06, 03:31 PM
| #15 (permalink) | |
| Right Wing Conspirator Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Fort Worth
Posts: 4,095
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BTW, I don't know what half of it means either. I was peeking around the legal section of the site to find some kind of disclaimer like "for entertainment purposes only" or such. I didn't see anything like it when I skimmed through it so I decided to debunk it.
__________________ Life itself is only a vision; a dream. Nothing exists except empty space and you. And you, are but a thought. Quote:
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