Bush, first head of state since Hitler to travel europe with a food tester, & toilet

[e-brake]

July 4, 2006 -- Even Bush's crap is classified top secret. According to our Austrian sources, Austrian newspapers are currently abuzz with special security details of George W. Bush's recent trip to Vienna. Although the heavy-handed Gestapo-like security measures meted out to Viennese home owners, business proprietors, and pedestrians by US Secret Service agents and local police before and during Bush's visit received widespread Austrian media attention, it was White House "toilet security" ("TOILSEC"), which has Austrians talking the most. The White House flew in a special portable toilet to Vienna for Bush's personal use during his visit. The Bush White House is so concerned about Bush's security, the veil of secrecy extends over the president's bodily excretions. The special port-a-john captured Bush's feces and urine and flew the waste material back to the United States in the event some enterprising foreign intelligence agency conducted a sewage pipe operation designed to trap and examine Bush's waste material. One can only wonder why the White House is taking such extraordinary security measures for the presidential poop.
In the past, similar operations were conducted against foreign leaders to determine their medical condition. However, these intelligence operations were directed against dictators in countries where even the medical conditions of the top political leaders were considered "state secrets." The Israeli Mossad conducted one such operation against Syrian President Hafez Assad when he visited Amman, Jordan in Feb. 1999 for the funeral of King Hussein. The Mossad and its Jordanian counterpart installed a special toilet in Assad's hotel room that led not to a pipe but to a specimen canister. Assad suffered from diabetes and cancer and the operation was designed to discover the actual medical condition of the ailing leader. During Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev's visit to Washington in 1987, the CIA reportedly placed a special trap under a sewage tank to collect the Soviet leader's bodily waste for analysis. More recently, the CIA was reported to have collected waste samples from Ugandan President-dictator Yoweri Museveni's toilet when he visited Washington.
Even Bush's toilet paper was flown in from the U.S. Air Base at Ramstein, Germany. In addition, Bush's food was flown in from the United States and tested with special chemicals before he ate it. Romanian dictator Nicolae Ceausescu, who was shot by a firing squad in 1989, was the last major European leader to constantly use a food tester. The last frequent state visitor to Vienna, who always relied on a food tester, was Adolf Hitler.

[Hey Bubu]

Can they trace coke use in feces???

[zerojunkie]

The last frequent state visitor to Vienna, who always relied on a food tester, was Adolf Hitler.

Are you really resorting to this to draw parallels?

[Nyteshade]

I have no source to back it up but I thought it was standard for the President's food to be tested.

[TheRedSkunk]

Bush is a doosh, but the Hitler comparisons are trite.

[e-brake]

Originally Posted by TheRedSkunk

Bush is a doosh, but the Hitler comparisons are trite.

There arent any other leaders traveling around using food testers, Hitler being the last one kinda leaves it to be compared with Hitler or King George the II, since King George died out 350 years ago I think Hitler would be the logical comparason.

[zerojunkie]

Originally Posted by e-brake

There arent any other leaders traveling around using food testers

I'd bet Victor Yushchenko has a food tester now. Hrm, maybe his poisoning has more to do with the president's food testing than...Hitler??? This thread beats out the OPEC boycott for the A&P Stupid of the Day.

[zerojunkie]

Originally Posted by xian

you sure this didn;t come from The Onion?

Probably the AP.

Originally Posted by xian

was the dioxin in his food?

If I recall correctly.

[PETA]

Originally Posted by xian

you sure this didn;t come from The Onion?

Originally Posted by zerojunkie

Probably the AP.

Tomato tomahto


or maybe



Onion On Yawn


whatever - let's call the whole thing off

[zerojunkie]

Originally Posted by xian

Tomato tomahto


or maybe



Onion On Yawn


whatever - let's call the whole thing off

let's

oh hold on the heavy-handed Gestapo-like security is at my door. lol.