CP NEWS: Score at the Thrift Store

[ddm-news]

-By Kristen Dunleavy

You've seen them. At happy hour, they're the bitchy-looking, decked-out label whores nursing their low-cal concoctions. I’d be cranky too, if I just dropped $900 on a pair of mittens. And yeah, their bags probably cost as much an SUV, but where’s the fun in that? Perusing thrift stores can score you high-end fashion even if you’re on an ultra low budget. Just bear in mind these Dos & Don’ts when you’re on the hunt:

Do: Be on the lookout for designer steals

No matter how many times I try to convey to non-believers that I’ve found Mavi, Lonsdale, DKNY, Armani, and a plethora of others brands at thrift stores, they look at me like I’m nuts. Joke’s on them: They’re the ones bidding on over-priced Italian leather on Ebay, and receiving goods with “Made in Japan” labels in the mail. Whoops. All sales final.

Don’t: Go nuts

Even if you could buy out the entire store for $20, what are you going to do with all those MC Hammer pants?

Do: Consider clothing alteration

No, I’m not talkin’ about any $20 an hour tailor. See, when your shirt is $2, it doesn’t matter if you know how to sew. Or safety pin. Or…glue. You get the picture. D.I.Y., bitches.

Don’t: Go near the underwear rack.

Do: Recognize the difference between “thrift” and “vintage”

Vintage Store Owner: “Oh my! If you look at the stain on this fluorescent green bodysuit long enough, it kind of resembles Nick Lachey’s face! $200! And $50 for each shoulder pad!”

Thrift Store Owner: “For the love of God, someone buy this atrocity of a frock. Your 25 cents will make a homeless puppy very happy.”

Don’t: Give used clothing as gifts

Believe it or not, some people actually have something against wearing what might be their deceased neighbor’s clothing. Yeah, I don’t know what their problem is either.

Do: Scout out the boondocks

Those of you residing in the sticks may be sitting on the best untapped fashion resource yet. Even if the local yokels can’t really dress themselves (creative use of flannel doesn’t count), there’s still a chance that something cool is going to wind up at Ye Olde Country Thrift. Especially since country/western chic is (still) all the rage. Can you smell the new wave of fashion? It smells like cow pies.

So next time you’re in need of a cheap fashion fix, check out your local thrift store before you head to the clearance racks in the mall. A lot of them donate most or all profit to charities, so your money isn’t going straight to some profit-hungry corporation. If not for your own sake, then please: do it for the puppies.

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