CP NEWS: To the Class of '06: Some Rules of Nightlife

[ddm-news]

-Erin DeJesus

Congrats, Class of ’06. After four years of dorm life and keggers, it’s time to move off campus and into the real world of real nightlife.

But because college nightlife centers on getting sloshed and butchering “Sweet Caroline,” recent college grads can stick out more than Britney’s baby bump.

Follow these tips, and you'll avoid the classic rookie mistakes.

Leave your letters

Nothing screams “I just graduated from college and OMG OMG OMG I had the time of my life” like sporting your fraternity or sorority sweatshirt out on the town. Yes, we understand that you’re proud of being a Kappa Phi Delta Phi Phi Phi Whatever brother/sister. But we really don’t care.

Tip well

Working stiffs at your local university dive may be used to getting under-tipped, but city bartenders, bathroom attendants, and coat-check girls are less forgiving. Leaving at least a dollar per drink (more during early rounds) ensures that you’ll be well taken care of for the rest of the night.

Dress the part

Gents should avoid looking like a Frat Boy. Stay away from popped-collar Polos, vertically-striped white button-downs, and the stereotypical backwards baseball caps. Ladies, trade in your flutter skirts for something that doesn’t, well, flutter.

Avoid cheap beer

Forget the days of kegs and red Solo cups filled with PBR, Beast, or the ‘Stone. To graduate to levels of Big Boy drinking, brush up on your beer knowledge at beeradvocate.com. Trust us, it's well worth a couple of extra bucks to get beer that doesn’t taste like urine.

Don’t play games

In the real world, spontaneous flip-cup or pong games don’t fly. (Who the hell is that guy that brings a ping-pong ball to a bar anyway?) If downing a few drinks brings out the competitive side in you, resign yourself to getting in line for the dartboard or pool table instead.

Branch out

The college mindset seems to be “Why bother going someplace new and far away when the familiar place is within walking distance?” If you’re new to the city, explore the options…there’s no sense in becoming a “regular” anywhere until you’ve hit 40.

Sign off

Telling someone to "Facebook me" or “Friend me on MySpace” is no longer an acceptable form of communication… not that it was acceptable in the first place. Skip the obvious “I wanna see more pictures of you online before I commit to anything else” and take a chance. Get the number. Then call it.

Calm yo’self

That campus sense of camaraderie and tradition – love it or hate it – doesn't exist anymore. Chances are you’ll be the only one noticing that your school team just hit that clutch 3-pointer… unless, of course, you take that opportunity to buy everyone a round.

Don’t create your own dance floor

You know you who are. To those girls that gather in bunches, block an aisle, then start a random spontaneous dance party to an undancable song: Stop it. Spilling everyone’s drinks as they try to squeeze past you is just an awesome excuse for the rest of us to shove a bitch. You’ve been warned.

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