CP NEWS: Penthouse Pets and Clubplanet

[ddm-news]

Last one. Promise. Just one more Halloween story before we call it a year.

We've done a lot of "clubbings tips," and here's one more: When someone asks you if you want to spend Halloween with five Penthouse Pets--the five finalists for "Pet of the Year," actually--feasting on a top-shelf open bar, watching them model lingerie, and then help them judge a Sexy Halloween Costume Contest… you say yes.

Such was my plight at Webster Hall this Halloween. Five quickie lessons learned:

1) Thanks for asking, yes. The Penthouse pets really are into girl-on-girl. Or at least the ones I talked to. Now, I'm not that naïve. It's certainly possible that Shay, my lovely Penthouse source, could just be quoting the party line, but it was seven Red Bull and vodkas in, so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. The pets have no pressure to do any girl-girl shoots, but most volunteer. (This was later corroborated--away from any cameras--by some spontaneous kissing.)

2) Originality counts. For a Halloween contest…it counts even more than sexiness. So Webster Hall was packed with hundreds (thousands?) of sexy girls in nurse/cop/whatever outfits. They didn't stand a chance. After a while, it all sort of looks the same. The costumes that got the biggest roar from the crowd? A furry, 10-feet-tall, scary-as-hell King Kong, and then an equally scary, 10-feet-tall, creepy walking Scarecrow. Judges appreciate effort, even when it's 3 in the morning and the entire crowd is drunk.

3) When your pagan ritual calls for sacrificing a virgin, a go-go dancer is an unlikely choice. Web Hall had this elaborate "virgin sacrifice" ceremony around 1am, completed with all the expected fetishes (bondage, leather, and, um, sacrifice-fetish?) As the improbably-hot, pornstar-looking virgin had her shirt ripped off, one of the producers of the event leaned into me and said, "Yeah, she's one of our go-go dancers." Showbiz.

4) Chicks dig the clergy. Seriously. Can you join the seminary online? I went as a priest, just a simple $17 costume that I bought a few days earlier. Not original, not sexy, but you'd be amazed at how smooth the words "sin," "confessions," and "naughty" fit into conversations. Which, of course, fits into the broader pattern of people wanting what they can't have. Look at Costanza and the wedding ring.



5) Take a lesson from Frank the Tank: Don't go streaking. Just after Boba Fett marched across the stage, some bald flabby white dude, who sorta looked like the principal from Back to the Future, hopped on the stage, buck naked, and started dancing for the crowd. The entire place was so shocked--from the Penthouse Pets to the crowd to the staff--that it took maybe 10 seconds for security to toss him from the stage. He didn't win.

Over a hundred pics of the sexed-up Webster Hall party in the Clubplanet photo galleries here.

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