CP NEWS: Clubbing and Cheating: How Far is Too Far?

[ddm-news]

-Diana Kost

Have you ever gone out with your friends, spotted a hot guy or girl, and wished you were single? No? Good. Me neither. (Right.)

But for those of you who have, it’s pretty clear that steering clear of the target is the best way to stay faithful. Statistics show that contact with a desired subject while in a monogamous relationship will likely increase the chances of dissolution of said relationship due to cheating. Translation: You’re going to cheat. Truth: I don’t really know if statistics prove this.

So, what constitutes cheating, anyway? Sex? A kiss? Doing anything your partner would disapprove of? Because most people either neglect to set boundaries or play stupid when they break them, it's time to define the rules. Read on.

Not Cheating: Kissing and hugging guys you know.

Your boyfriend may not like it that you're a social butterfly, but greeting people with a kiss is certainly not cheating. Not even if you do it with the entire club. In fact, he should be lucky that you're so damn popular and he has you.

Cheating: Making out.

Unless you have a “kissing isn’t cheating” understanding with your boyfriend, then kissing is cheating. You are exchanging bodily fluids which may or may not be full of icky germs, especially if you’re kissing some random dude in a club.

Not Cheating: Dancing with someone else.

You know that really dorky guy who managed to get in? The guy who wants to twirl you around as if you're in a ballroom dance competition? Yeah. He’s annoying but this no contact dancing is far from cheating. He may as well be your cousin and if your boyfriend saw he’d probably laugh. Okay, he wouldn’t laugh, but you know what I mean.

Cheating: Grinding.

Yes. Grinding is a type of dancing in which you shake your booty into his groin and he hardens up and you get the picture. Imagine your boyfriend having some chick’s ass all up in his grill. You’d be mad, wouldn’t you? Avoid this type of dancing if you have a boyfriend, unless of course, you are ready to be single.

Not Cheating: Accepting a drink.

Isn’t it a guy’s job to buy the drink and the girl’s job to accept them? It’s the least he can do for making you listen to his list of stock options and brand new (leased) Porch 911. And listening is not cheating, no matter what your man says. You’re in a relationship, not dead. Try to mingle with as many people before your life ends in marriage.

Cheating: Thanking him for the drink with anything but a thank you.

That makes you a prostitute. A cheap one at that. And if you’re going to be this easy, at least ask for fiscal compensation. Translation: Money.

Not Cheating: Giving out your phone number or taking his.

It’s all about networking, baby. As you know, it’s not what you know but who you know. Who cares if he thinks you want more. Don’t guys do this to girls all the time? And will the feminazi’s all please stand up and realize that you are a minority and to win in a man’s world, you must play by the man’s rules. Give out your work number to play it safe. Note: In order not to be considered a tease, give him something in return which is not your body. I will not endorse any products but it’s not so hard to figure out.

Cheating: Hooking up with another girl.

While it may be true that your guy dreams of watching you hook up with another girl, doing it while he’s not there will probably anger him. Even if he thinks it’s the hottest thing ever, he will consider it cheating because he wasn’t there to witness it. I’m sure your boyfriend won’t mind if you mention that you are interested in other ladies so try including him next time.

Not Cheating: Hooking up with another girl while your boyfriend watches.

Whoever said that three’s a crowd was probably just a really boring person. If all parties are consenting adults, let the good times begin. Careful, though. It's best to leave all feelings at the door because in cases such as these, emotions and sex don’t mix.

Agree? Disagree? Sound off in the Comments below.

For more on nightlife and relationships, check out CP's article on Nightlife and Monogamy.

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