At what point is it too much?

[cyberina]

I think its time for a change.

I'm a straight A student, but the past two semesters I've only gotten Bs and Cs. Not good for someone who wants to get into graduate school!!!!

I have thought long and hard about what's changed over the past two semesters. I realized that the reason is that I'm putting others' needs above my own far too often.

I've tried to discuss this and resolve it reasonably with those involved. The end result was that the problem reared its head more often and more aggressively, and the more I tried to not let it effect me the even harder still it pushed.

Totally in my face.. Seriously aggressive, and completely insulting when I don't just go with it.

Its tearing me up in ways unimagined. I even have professors pulling me aside asking me if I'm okay, and recommending counselling. I'm practically failing all of my classes this semester.

I can't throw my long, long, longtime dreams into a dumpster..... I'm running out of time to fix it and not have it seriously effect me for the rest of my life.

I have to make a change, but after nearly a year of trying to resolve things other ways I'm running out of options. I really am beginning to feel like the solution to my problem might have a result of hurting some people that I care very much about...

And that totally sucks.

I have to keep repeating to myself that those that really truly care about me and my future wouldn't be giving me such problems... And that any decision I come to regarding my future is mine, and should be understood and accepted by those that truly care about me for me instead of caring about me for what I do for them.

That mantra is giving me the only ounce of strength I have left in this situation.

I need to be able to finish my degree and do what it takes to keep my sanity while I'm doing that, and if the people around me cannot accept that then they're just not accepting what comes with being a part of my life.

It sounds selfish to say, and I'm sorry that my school effects everyone around me so very much, but sometimes, a girls' gotta do what a girls' gotta do, no if's and's or but's.

I just wish that the people around me would just understand so that I don't have to be forced into the decision of "my friends or my future"

I'll pick my future, and I really don't want to hurt anyone.. I care about them.

[J. Fees]

just withdraw, so you don't get bad grades, and try to restart in the summer or fall. If its bad now, its not gonna get any better.

[molecule]

guess i'm missing something here. i'm confused as to how any real friends would have issues with you focusing on your priorities (school)

[PETA]

So, you're saying your relationship w/another is the cause of the lower grades?

That ending the relationship will improve the grades?

That you want the grades more than the relationship?

Makes your choices and lives with them.

Ps... ever think you may just be struggling with the material because it is difficult?

[Enchilada]

I guess I don't really understand the cause of your problem. Without that bit of info I can't give you my opinion on the subject. However, i will say that school and your future wellness are more important than most things in life. You should be who you look out for 1st. If your relationships or out of school activities are causing your grades to fall, then you need to get refocused on your education and start spending less time with other activities.

[cyberina]

Originally Posted by J. Feez

just withdraw, so you don't get bad grades, and try to restart in the summer or fall. If its bad now, its not gonna get any better.

Not an option... Too far along in the semester to withdraw for one.
For two, my major is small enough that some of my classes only get offered one semester every 2 to 4 years.

I can save most of the classes still, though. Especially if I talk to the professors about what's going on, then totally bust ass this last month and a half.....

Regardless, don't anyone expect to be seeing much of me until May.

[J. Fees]

you can always go see a shrink, claim that your bf broke up with you, and you lost your job, and get a medical withdrawl. It worked for me(but i used a gf instead of a bf).

[PETA]

negotiate an incomplete and do work off semester to make up the lowered grade level....

[cyberina]

The cause of my lowered grades essentially falls under the fact that the people in my life constantly insist upon my time and attention, even when I don't have it to give.

If I still deny it, they get aggressive, demanding, or insulting about it to the point where I can't concentrate on the classwork anyway. Its very hard to write a paper when you are being screamed at.

YES, I could go to IHOP or something, but I don't think the people at IHOP would appreciate me practicing guitar, practicing piano, or composing pieces while they're trying to have a pieceful dinner. So IHOP only works for about half of my classwork.

Today at school, I made a call and expressed how I felt (again) in a calm, responsible, adult-like manner. I stated again that I feel like Im having to sacrifice my own needs to accomodate others far too often. I ended the call when I was being screamed at for having the balls to make such a statement.

For the rest of my day while I was trying to attend class, I missed 5 phone calls which resulting in 2 voicemails, 4 text messages, and 9 emails all insulting me, arguing with me about how I'm wrong and have no right to feel that way, and then was blamed for them getting in trouble at work for throwing temper tantrums all day long...... (Note: I had the one conversation with them this morning.. I refused all further calls.. I checked all of my messages hearing the escalation of irateness)

[J. Fees]

shake the haterz off, i guess if its your fam its not a possiblility, but if there not related, fuck em.

[PETA]

and you're wonderiong what too much is?

[matt]

get out and take care of your schooling. this is important to you. you are a great chica.

[cyberina]

Originally Posted by xian

negotiate an incomplete and do work off semester to make up the lowered grade level....

There are no makeup options in my degree plan other than retakign the class, which may mean waiting 4 years for the class to be offered again (in a few cases).

Originally Posted by xian

and you're wonderiong what too much is?

LoL! No.... Just made for a good subject line.

I'm just frustrated beyond belief is all....

I know what I need to do, but if I do it now I'll have to rearrange a lot of my life while I really need to be concentrating on school, and if I wait until later I have to fend off all the attacks while I'm trying to concentrate on school. Its kind of a no win... I just have to suck it up and be stronger than most people are expected to... Manage 19 hours of classload, 30 hours of work, as well as all of the drama.

I really do care about everyone in my life, and I don't want to hurt anyone.......

It seems like its one of those hurt or be hurt things, though. I keep hoping my point will magically sink in already.

[PETA]

Originally Posted by cyberina

There are no makeup options in my degree plan other than retakign the class, which may mean waiting 4 years for the class to be offered again (in a few cases).

which is a strong argument why the adminstrative procedure of incompletes would be more appropriate under your circumstances....

[Enchilada]

Originally Posted by cyberina

The cause of my lowered grades essentially falls under the fact that the people in my life constantly insist upon my time and attention, even when I don't have it to give.

If I still deny it, they get aggressive, demanding, or insulting about it to the point where I can't concentrate on the classwork anyway. Its very hard to write a paper when you are being screamed at.

These statements tell me that your "friends" don't really give a shit about you or your future. If they cared about you they would encourage you to reach your life goals. Seriously, this person doesn't care about you. You are there to entertain them when they are bored.