Being to nice

[Fluffy~Kush]

Always been a huge problem of mine. I can blame it on my catholic upbringing and that whole guilt thing, but when it comes down to it I feel obligated to help out peeps when I can even if I spread myself way to thin doing so. I have always put myself in other peeps shoes and in doing so I begen to feel for them. So if I don't help them out and I can I feel like shite, but certain peeps are testing that friendship and pushing me to my max. I feel like shite cause I can help them out, but they keep getting them self stuck in the same pussy hole and I am about to turn my back on the friendship and not look back till they come around and understand that they have abused my friendship to the limit and I will not think twice about saying nothing other than I love you as I walk away.

My fault for being a sucker and helping an old friend out or them being a such a drunk they don't realize how far they have pushed our friendship.


This whole thing has me ready to give up on the human race as a whole when you can not help one of your old peeps out without them shiting on you then why should I trust anyone else?

So how many of you think I am am just a fucking wanker for being so nice?

[J. Fees]

the good thing about being really nice, is that you can get away with being a really big asshole as well. try it.

[david austin]

Originally Posted by J. Feez

the good thing about being really nice, is that you can get away with being a really big asshole as well. try it.

with regularity... lol

[Fluffy~Kush]

I tend not to be an asshole as when I am one I can turn most of the world against me in a heartbeat. I can be a cunt when I want with good reason, but I hate to as shite as the other person who pushed me over. I think walking away for a while might be best, but I have this fear that this person will return to his old vice of the "Fluffy~Powder" if I walk away there for making me feel more like shite. I know I can not save the world much less one soul who cares not to save himself. The guilt eats away at me knowing what is GOING to happen when I turn my back.
Really makes me wish I did not have "friends" and just acquittance's you care about a lot less.

[skelekim]

youre problem is thinking or feeling guilt over OTHER PEOPLE'S ACTIONS. yeah it sucks, but you have to remember you cant make someone else do anything. they need to find it for themselves. ppl have to fall to stand up again sometimes. I know caring for ppl is hard to shut off, not saying that you should either, you just need to realize you cant be that for ppl. even if you want too. maybe you have a martyr complex. I mean when you see yourself caring for ppl and doing things to help them, is it always shitty scenerios? or shitty ppl?

[Fluffy~Kush]

Originally Posted by reamer

youre problem is thinking or feeling guilt over OTHER PEOPLE'S ACTIONS. yeah it sucks, but you have to remember you cant make someone else do anything. they need to find it for themselves. ppl have to fall to stand up again sometimes. I know caring for ppl is hard to shut off, not saying that you should either, you just need to realize you cant be that for ppl. even if you want too. maybe you have a martyr complex. I mean when you see yourself caring for ppl and doing things to help them, is it always shitty scenerios? or shitty ppl?

99% of the time it's good peeps who end up in shitty situations. Martyr that should be my middle name. I feel others peoples pain because my mom says I like pain makes me feel, more so than love as pain is way more abundant in this world. I love others to much and myself not enough to walk away, but God that makes me feel like I am the worlds worst person when I can help, but have lost patenice with people as we are to error at some point and time. I just really don't want to become someone who does not care about peeps, I am at that stage in life where I need to fine that very fine transparent line of being a good person and being a sucker.

What pisses me off more than anything is that I have more fuking street smarts than most on this board and I have a soft fucking heart. whats up with that???

[matt]

always been too nice. people can and will usually try to take advantage. oh and the asshole thing is true as well

[Dionysos]

Hey Matt, you got an extra room I could crash in?

[DJ SENECA]

"too" nice. cheers

[LucyCiel]

Originally Posted by Fluffy~Kush

"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle"

It's in your sig line..... ima say its incredibly important to you that you be nice. Just make it clear you're not anyone's bitch.

I always battled this, and I still do sometimes. It's hard, especially with close friends, to say you can't help. You don't just wanna help - you feel downright obligated. But you have to take care of yourself first...

Hopefully everyone telling you this makes it obvious that it's okay to say no sometimes. No one is going to say "Oh you horrible person!" because you refused to take it in the rear. They will say "Good for them, they didn't take it in the rear!"

[Johnny Funk]

Originally Posted by J. Feez

the good thing about being really nice, is that you can get away with being a really big asshole as well. try it.

QFT

[tabby]

Originally Posted by matt

always been too nice. people can and will usually try to take advantage. oh and the asshole thing is true as well

you are a super nice guy nice guys are underrated (sp?)

[soje]

Being too nice is often self righteousness in disguise. I'm all too often scared to tell someone to fuck off because I'm afraid to let people see that I'm affected by their behavior. Or, I'm just sooooo much better than to be on that level. It's torture really. I want to knock someone out, but what about my precious little image.

What's funny is when I act like that I draw people into treating me like a door matt. Then I feel like a victim. It's the endless play of the egoic mind.

It all turns out to be bullshit. I'm capable of anything.

[alexican]

its okay to be nice, but its not okay to be a doormat or a babysitter to grown adults. it is NOT your responsibility to solve other people's problems, especially ones they got themselves into due to poor decision making. shitty things happen to good and bad people everyday; its just a fact of life.

here is one way to think about it: do you honestly believe that if you were the one who needed help, that these same people would unquestioningly reach out and help, or would they make excuse after excuse as to why they can't help? if its the latter, i would cut off your "services".

[Ash]

yeah i don't have that problem.