to all you dead beat dads and dead beat mothers

[Import]

*wonders if you know the difference between a "deadbeat" dad who couldn't care less and a "deadbroke" dad who does everything he can*.

I hate custody disputes having seen some horrific cases.

[PETA]

Originally Posted by TragicallyUnhip

A lot of guys use the whole custody thing as a bargaining chip..

Many women will spitefully bargin themselves into poverty to prevent father from seeing his children. They use the kids as weapons too. Bad actors abound in these cases.

[Liz]

The best advice I can give is, keep that lil girl OUT of the court room and whole situation (if you can).

[TheSunAlsoRises]

Originally Posted by zymote

I don't get it - kids are way too much fun to bail on. There's really nothing in this world more important to me than being a parent. These days, I find it's more fun to stay home with the kiddos than go out partying most of the time. Why a guy would willingly miss out on that is beyond me.

i have LOADS of fun with the kiddo, Sean's included! after my daughter was born, i stopped doing everything for a looong time, simply- i wanted to create a healthy & nurturing atmosphere for her PERIOD.

we may be slightly off-kilted people but, i'll be damned if anyone can say we're not good parents

sometimes i think people think that having children is a fucking game.
this is REAL LIFE, deal with it. (& if you OPT out...stay out)

he was the "ideal" father for the first 2-3 yrs, until i found out what was going on behind my back. made a decision he didn't like (tough shit) & gave him PLENTY of chances to win back my trust (probably too many).
so, here we are today - universe only knows what he's doing.

it hurts me to see her want him & this turns into rage.
so i leave it to the heavens to deal with him & do my own thing regardless.

wow....sorry

[confucius]

I was just thinking that I wanted to be a deadbeat dad when I grow up. It seems to be the current fad.

on the other hand, good luck and don't let stoopid people get to you.


P.S. I'm still wondering why women have kids with stoopid men, in the first place.

[juandingo]

Maury Show - Black kid with white parents paternity test

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[cyberina]

Wow...

Its always a shame to see the whole custody issue thing.

There was a man who worked as a busser in my parents' restaurant in the 80s. We dubbed him the father of Fort Worth because he had so many child support payments garnished from his check going to so many women. Every week, there would be a different pissed off lady showing up to collect his paycheck for back child support only to get more pissed off to discover that after garnishment, his check was only like $25. He had to live at Salvation Army, which my parents paid for under the table just so he'd have a bed to sleep on. He did odd jobs at our house in exchange for meals on the weekends. We wondered if it was even possible for him to have fathered children to that many different women, and after about two dozen women we began to suspect that his name and info was passed around the ghetto to women who were unsure of the father. Even if he did sleep with all of those women (some of which he claimed he had never seen before, and he was a pretty honest guy), I can't imagine that ALL of those babies were actually his.

After about 2 years of this, even MORE women were claiming him as Daddy, but we were pretty positive there was no way because he spent at least 60 hours a week in our supervision, and a bare minimum of another 48 hours a week under the supervision of Salvation Army. It didn't leave much more time for seducing strange women, ya know?

That sort of thing couldn't happen today what with DNA testing, but it sure as hell happened then. Literally, the guy worked 2 full time jobs, and barely took home enough for food every week.



It pisses me off when I see men who don't take care of their part, and aren't living on minimum budgets.

Likewise, it pisses me off when I see women who abuse the custody thing.

I've lost so much respect for men and women both on this topic. I've seen dads who partied it up and either made their current girls pay their support, or didn't pay it at all. Likewise, I've seen some moms pull some nasty lying cheating stuff to try to keep otherwise damn good fathers from their kids.

I know it sounds cliche, but what about the kids??? It frustrates me to no end when I encounter parents who think more for their selves and their own issues than what is best for the children in the end.

Sometimes people try to do what they believe is best for the kids, and I just have to question.
For example... A girl I know (NOT a friend, and no one you guys know) had a daughter that she kept. A couple of years later, she got pregnant again with twins by a different father. After a year, she decided she couldn't handle the responsibility, and gave the twins up for adoption, but kept the older child. In her mind, she was doing the right thing, but just think for a second what that 4 year old must have had in her mind after her twin baby siblings went to live with another family.

In another situation.... I have two friends who went through a separation. For years, dad truly was a dead beat. No doubts about that. After a period of time, though, he picked back up on child support payments and caught up completely. Mom, however, bears a grudge. She refuses to let him see the child. After many legal procedings, the advice given to him was to just sign over his rights and pursue finding the child when she turns 18. The mom, however, now refuses to allow his rights to be signed off on because that would mean he's no longer responsible for child support. I assure you, the girl does NOT need the money. Of all my friends, she's literally the richest by a long shot. Multi-millionaire. I've remained their friend, and have been gentle but honest with both of them on my opinions on the matter. Those opinions have had some positive effects on occasion, but they're still in the thick of it, though. The daughter is getting up there in age now, and asks me questions about her father fairly frequently. Fortunately, she accepts a "Let me get back to you on that" so I can consult both parents and find an answer that offends neither. The day that girl turns 18, if she still hasn't gotten to see her father, I don't care what mommy says, I'm giving her daddy's address and number.

Fortunately there, both parents appreciate my willingness to be a friend and mediator to them both. This is the only situation in which I know both parents and the child well, though. There have been a few times in the past that I was kind of put in the middle by both parents, and the only thing that came of it is one of the parents resenting me for it.

I feel for any and all parents who get caught up with the bad decisions of the other parents.

[confucius]

Originally Posted by juandingo

Maury Show - Black kid with white parents paternity test

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I guess, a 2way street remains...

[lightz]

Sounds like your sister made a great choice on who to have sex with.

[pickle]

Originally Posted by lightz

Sounds like your sister made a great choice on who to have sex with.

sounds like you didn't read everything

Well Like I said....for a whole year he was awesome. did EVERYTHING for my sister. shit even asked her to marry him....then the lies started to unfold and we caught the bastard red handed with another girl....when he said he was going out of town on business....

[lightz]

Just a 1st reaction response. I read it. I mean the dudes a dick but I figured your sister just made a bad choice and now she has to deal with it.

[e-brake]

Originally Posted by Red

The best advice I can give is, keep that lil girl OUT of the court room and whole situation (if you can).

Thats not an issue, family courts rarely allow minors in the courtroom. Even in situations where the kids are given the opportunity to speak they don't enter the courthouse. Often times the judge will order the parents to pay for an independent attorney to represent the child, who will then submit a recorded or transcribed statement from the minor. Its rare that they would ever even allow a child under the age of 13 to step inside of a family court for any type of divorce or custody hearing.

[Liz]

Originally Posted by e-brake

Thats not an issue, family courts rarely allow minors in the courtroom. Even in situations where the kids are given the opportunity to speak they don't enter the courthouse. Often times the judge will order the parents to pay for an independent attorney to represent the child, who will then submit a recorded or transcribed statement from the minor. Its rare that they would ever even allow a child under the age of 13 to step inside of a family court for any type of divorce or custody hearing.

Really? Want to reconsider that comment you just made to me?

Yes, you're right, it IS rare, but it happens....

I, at the tender age of 6 yrs old, WENT INSIDE the courtroom AND testified on the stand, during my parents divorce procedure.

I'm not interested in airing out my dirty laundry on here, but just hold your tongue in most cases.

It's cool that you are educated on most every single topic that appears on this site, you homie, you arent always right. You dont always have the facts straight.

Like I said before, Brandi, if your family can help it at all, dont let that little girl be IN the courtroom or anywhere near that whole situation. And as angry and frustrating as it is, dont let her hear you or your sister bad-mouth him either. That is so hard for a child to hear. No matter what ANYone's opinions are, its still very traumatic for a child to hear that stuff. It doesnt help the situation either.

[Liz]

Originally Posted by Red

I, at the tender age of 6 yrs old, WENT INSIDE the courtroom AND testified on the stand, during my parents divorce procedure.

All that did was piss the judge off even more, towards my Dad (after he told my Dad he didnt want me or my brother near the courts), so the judge awarded whatever my Mom was asking for.

Not 100% sure how or why they allowed us in, but it happened. It was fucked up.

[pickle]

My niece will not step foot in that court house. NO WAY...not ever. UNLESS it is ordered by the judge....which at the age of 5 or 6 we HOPE that wouldn't be the case. This is between my sister and DBD not my niece. She is the best thing ever so no need for her to be there. only time will tell I will just kepp praying that everything will be ok and we can move on with our lives!

Sometimes I wonder if God is actually listening...after yesterday I swore up and down he wasn't. But I think this is God's was of saying...."hey DBD...you can't get away with being a shithead...if I can't teach you a lesson I will have Tarrant County do it!" - yeah I and doubt God would say shithead but you get the picture!