So my loser brother is planning on moving back.

[Nyteshade]

Quick background on him:

31 years old and has been in/out of rehab, jail, prison, hospitals, etc since he was 15. He has the mentality of a 17 year old due to all the drugs he's done. He has a 13 year old daughter that my parents have been raising since she was 4 months old. He got cleaned up (supposedly) a few years ago, got married, moved to Indiana, and had 3 more kids with his wife.

A couple months ago, he came into town talking about a bunch of problems him and his wife were having (he thinks she's cheating on him). The whole time he was in town, his actions and the way he was talking reminded me of the way he acted when he was using. I ignored it for the time because we hadn't hung out in a couple years and I'd rather we had fun instead of starting drama. My sister however, brought it up and he gave her a ton of shit for it.

He called my mother today to let her know he's probably going to be catching a bus here and also told her that he's fucking ODed 5 times this year. I can't believe he has the audacity to think he's going to be welcomed by us with all the shit he's pulled over the years. Not the least of which include stealing my father's tools (he runs a machine shop and field service business. Stealing tools majorly screws with that), shooting up at my parents house while his daughter that he was supposed to be taking care of was in the next room, getting ME kicked out on the fucking street, nearly getting me arrested because he brought drugs into my apartment,

Fuck it. I could go on for hours.

[Barbara Butch]

Sounds like a real Munson

[Tortures Dionysos]

Yep, he's a full blow loser. WOW.

You kind of hate to disown a family member... but this sounds like a family member its OK to disown.

[TheAmazon]

So sorry to hear about the troubles with the family member, on one hand ..ehh, i'd rather not give advice cuz i dont really know your situation but i do feel for you.

[PJSOLDIER]

As someone whos been there and back, Ill tell you that there are two kinds of junkies. Some can and want to get better and eventually do and then there are the ones that can never shake it. Your bro sounds like the latter. I got alotta friends that I dont think will ever be clean. I hope that your bro gets better. ODing 5 times in a year?!?!?! Thats pretty fucking bad. Thats someone that isnt learning their lesson.

[PeterS]

Not much you can do about everyone else but you can at least do your part by turning your back on him.

Seems like some of your family are enabling him. I understand he's their son, brother etc. but he's a monument to assholes too.

[jtoosweet]

sounds just like my cousin in FL. I just had to stop talking to him

[Nyteshade]

Originally Posted by PJSOLDIER

As someone whos been there and back, Ill tell you that there are two kinds of junkies. Some can and want to get better and eventually do and then there are the ones that can never shake it. Your bro sounds like the latter. I got alotta friends that I dont think will ever be clean. I hope that your bro gets better. ODing 5 times in a year?!?!?! Thats pretty fucking bad. Thats someone that isnt learning their lesson.

This used up the last hope I had for him shaking the habit. I had thought that him getting married to a great girl, having 3 kids, and "finding God" had finally done it. With this latest bit of news, I can tell it's never gonna happen and I can't afford to mess with it anymore. It was bad enough taking care of him when it was just me. It's another thing now that I have a family to worry about.

[Ash]

tell your parents to quit enabling him and that he's not welcome

Sounds like a big part of the reason he's still such a mess is because he's always had someone to bail him out and cover for him. First you and your parents and then his wife. Watching someone self-destruct can be a horribly painful experience, especially knowing that they could easily wind up dead. The thing people have to keep reminding themselves of is that they cannot stop the inevitable from happening no matter how many times they catch the person when they fall. When someone is so far gone, they have to hit absolute rock bottom and it's something they either find the strength to come back from on their own or not. You need to be there for your parents right now and present a united front, otherwise he's going to wreck their lives again too. I don't think his 17 year old mentality is necessarily because of the drugs. It may have a lot more to do with the fact nobody's ever made him grow up.

In other words, what Ash said. haha

[name change request]

there's a difference between not enabling him and abandoning him... i personally would never turn my back on family.

That's ridiculous. At some point the best thing you can do for someone is turn your back.

Originally Posted by joel

there's a difference between not enabling him and abandoning him... i personally would never turn my back on family.

[name change request]

i disagree.

Have you ever been a drug addict?

[jtoosweet]

you can't help someone that does not want to help themselves