Ever have to evict a roommate? Advise needed.

[bigKenny]

I just cut this month's check and I doubt I'll see her half, again. Bitch isn't on the lease, and now owes me for 3 months. The problem is the lazy cunt is never home when I'm home to talk about it. I think she's intentionally avoiding me. I've email and texted her several times - no reply.

Finally she's home early one morning on the weekend, and I came in from a hardy night of drinking. I smell her fucking dog, and lose it. I yelled at her through her closed door, "GTFO of my house because you ain't paying rent. I don't care if you got laid off, it's been 3 months! You could have gotten unemployment by now, you lazy cunt! Don't make me throw your shit out on the lawn, because the first thing to go will be your nasty ass mut!"

Well, when I woke up that afternoon, there was $100 dollars on my desk. She started keep the smelly dog in her room too, or taking it with her wherever she's hiding. At any rate, that was a month ago. Now her balance is $1175.

We used to be friends before she started dodging me over rent. Shit I'm an understanding guy, we could have worked something out if she would just talk to me.

Would it be worthwhile to go to court? Should I really just pawn her shit?

I wrote a letter to the landlord and asked her to go after the cunt for her half, and she said she couldn't legally. That's another point of fucking bullshit because the apartment manager told me that we were both equally responsible for the rent when we signed the lease, and he specifically said for one of us to sign as the leasee and one as the occupant because that's how the application was set up.

[PointBender]

damn, well she isnt on the lease soo you cant legally do anything. I would just kick her out!

[ONE FM]

I'd kill the bitch, cut her up into little pieces, run her through a grinder, and make spicy roomate tamales..

[bigKenny]

Originally Posted by ONE FM

I'd kill the bitch, cut her up into little pieces, run her through a grinder, and make spicy roomate tamales..

Too much hair dye and cellulite. It wouldn't be any good.

[juandingo]

go look bitch you gotta go. I changed locks. you can come this weekend to pick up stuff. call in advance so I cab make sure ill be there.

[-m-]

Originally Posted by juandingo

go look bitch you gotta go. I changed locks. you can come this weekend to pick up stuff. call in advance so I can make sure ill be there.

Yeah, just change the locks when she's gone and have her come get her stuff. That's really all you can do.

[Roos]

Dude. I told ya. You gotta just lay it out and tell her she has to be out by a certain date. It's all you can do. Tell her you found a new roommate and she has to be out by a certain date so the roommate can move in. Or just tell her to get out. She isn't on the lease, so you are screwed out of that money. But at least you have control of the situation since it's in your name.

I wouldn't toss her shit. I wouldn't sell anything of hers. I would just lay it down and tell her if she doesn't comply you will call the cops, show them the lease with YOUR name, and have her escorted out. Change your locks and give the landlord a copy. Keep it all as legal and civil as you can.

[DataBass]

If she's not willing to leave and she has established residence there you will have to serve her with an eviction notice, regardless of whether or not she is on the lease. You'll need to go down to the JP and file for eviction.

[Mr. Chow]

Originally Posted by DataBass

If she's not willing to leave and she has established residence there you will have to serve her with an eviction notice, regardless of whether or not she is on the lease. You'll need to go down to the JP and file for eviction.

While this might be true, I doubt she is aware of this. I would try leaving a note on her door saying that if she hasn't moved her shit out by the end of the weekend, It will be donated and she will be homeless and have no shit.

[Roos]

Originally Posted by DataBass

If she's not willing to leave and she has established residence there you will have to serve her with an eviction notice, regardless of whether or not she is on the lease. You'll need to go down to the JP and file for eviction.

yep.

Knowing Michelle though, if you tell her this is your next step and she sees legal issues, she'll wise up and move out.

Sad, dude. She's a nice girl who I assume is just in a rough spot and not sure how to get out. But screwing over her friends is the last thing she should be doing. She knows that. She's no dummy.

[Mr. Chow]

just plant a crackpipe in her room, and call the cops and say "my room mate has had strange smells coming from her room, i think she's doing drugz......"

(that was a joke)

[juandingo]

is she willing to trade taking it out of her ass. is she cute? does she have sharp teeth.

[DataBass]

I support Juan's recommendation; work out some kind of blowjob/anal payment plan with her.

[zymote]

Originally Posted by Swine Flu Stu

While this might be true, I doubt she is aware of this. I would try leaving a note on her door saying that if she hasn't moved her shit out by the end of the weekend, It will be donated and she will be homeless and have no shit.

She's listed on an occupant on the lease. Any attempt to jack with her stuff could result in a theft charge. DON'T JACK WITH HER STUFF!

Unfortunately, Kenny, your onsite was right when they said y'all are both equally responsible for the rent. Since she's on the lease as an occupant, that means that it's not the apartment's problem if she doesn't pay rent - just pay half and you'll get evicted too. You can't file an eviction either, as she's not subletting from you, and the apartments would only file an eviction for both of you.

Basically, you've got three options:

1.) Break the lease and gtfo of there. (Not recommended - it's expensive and will fuck up your rental history and credit.)

2.) See if the complex will let you transfer to a 1br, without her as an occupant. (Possible, but not probable.)

3.) Sit her ass down, explain that you can't afford to pay her half of the rent, and that if she doesn't get out that both of you will get evicted. Also make sure that if she knows that if she gets evicted she'll basically be unrentable at anything but a ghetto ass property where she'll be repeatedly gang raped any time she tries to leave the apartment, especially in light of her being unemployed. Be very nice but firm, and give her a hard deadline to get out. (This is your best option.)

[name change request]

zymote, you forgot the fourth option.... which we'll need to now just how hot she is before we can offer up that fourth option.

let's see a pic