Dealing with liars?

I told someone something to warn them of an event that might effect them because I thought they were a close friend. Then I found out he told someone I specfically told him not to tell. He told me point blank, no way, I would never tell him, I never tell anyone anything we talk about. Yesterday I watched them talk about it without realizing I was there.

Funny because 5 years ago this would have killed me. It stung a little, but I don't feel like I have time to dwell on it. He has been removed from "my circle."

I just thought it was funny how easily I removed someone I thought was a friend because they betrayed my trust. I did care a lot about him, I thought we were pretty close. I guess its my age...I now only want positive people in my life that I trust unquestionably. Otherwise its not worth it.

Anyone else feel this way? It sort of made me lol today, realizing that on Monday I will be 28, and how far I have come dealing with hs situational bullshit. Lols

[Hey Bubu]

Can't see it!

[-m-]

If it were me and it was someone I considered to be a close friend I wouldn't completly write them off just yet. I'd let him know that I knew what happened and how it made me feel and allow him to make ammends. People can be jerks at times, even close friends. I should know seeing that I'm a world class jerk.

That is definitely an age/maturity thing. When you're younger you're all wrapped up in wanting everyone to like you and put a lot more value in superficial friendships than should really be there. When you're older and more secure in yourself, stupid crap like that tends to not phase you as much because you have more going on in your life than just worrying about other people. It's definitely empowering when you get to that point.

[Siren7]

Good for you. I feel the same way. Once I learned to cut out all the bullshit my life got ten times better. I'm glad you didn't take it too hard, and realized that such is life and people aren't always going to be what you thought they were.

Drama free is the way to be. No one needs people like that in their lives, life is too short.



~Nikki~

[juandingo]

yeah if someone tells you not to repeat something, don't repeat it. it never fails to amaze me how so many people have problems with that.

what bothers me even more are the people i'm not real close with but that you know talk shit and you confront them to stop and they make all these guarantees only to keep doing it. some people need other methods of reinforcement i guess.

Originally Posted by -m-

If it were me and it was someone I considered to be a close friend I wouldn't completly write them off just yet. I'd let him know that I knew what happened and how it made me feel and allow him to make ammends. People can be jerks at times, even close friends. I should know seeing that I'm a world class jerk.

Nah, I don't want to deal with it. He's not as close to me as some of my other friends, but we were pretty cool.

I had a feeling he was passing shit on, an instinct told me he was, so this just confirms it. I thought I caught him once before but I couldn't pin it down, so I told myself I was being silly. I'm just not down with wondering if what I say is being told to everyone. I don't need that stress in my life

[-m-]

I hear you. Cut 'em loose then. I agree about keeping your mouth shut. I can be an asshole in other ways but breaking trust with a friend's a definite with me. I keep my damn mouth shut.

[Coconutfetus]

fuck em in the ear.

Originally Posted by juandingo

yeah if someone tells you not to repeat something, don't repeat it. it never fails to amaze me how so many people have problems with that.

what bothers me even more are the people i'm not real close with but that you know talk shit and you confront them to stop and they make all these guarantees only to keep doing it. some people need other methods of reinforcement i guess.

Agreed. I think people blow off the importance of trust until situations like this happen.

I am not say I am the most trustworthy person ever, or that I am better than everyone else, but when someone says don't tell anyone, then I don't tell, not even Tim.

Plus if they are this type of a person they aren't going to change because you told them too. I take it as a sign now. Someone else can risk that shit, I am not going to fuck up my life.

[juandingo]

just let the bullshit blow in the breeze.

[Hey Bubu]

[-m-]

I tell Tim all of my secrets.

[Coquette]

I can't stand a liar and I get up in arms if someone accuses me of lying. If I've said or done something, I will own up to it. I have no reason to lie.

If someone close to me lies, I get pretty hurt and upset about it. I've lost many a friend because of this.