Thread: CP NEWS: More From Sundance

-By Wolfie

This weekend I hit Utah for Sundance, snowboarding, and DJing. My friends are all burners there. I brought some of my LA friends with me- Gonzo and Sean Morris.

Sean Morris is a director. He got hired to talk at a bunch of Sundance seminars. Gonzo is a writer and a ski biker. I had a small party I was booked to spin at for my friends.

All my Utah friends are crazy. Except for Kathy Jo, our host. She’s a great cook. A bunch of them are ex-Mormons. I thought we partied hard in LA. HAH! Try being in a strict, uber-proper religion for twenty years, and then discovering radical self expression at burning man.

Lets just say that Polyamory and drugs are very much on the menu after leaving the Mormon faith. When they break out of their shells, they go nuts. And Party favors. I haven't even seen acid in LA for over a year. Apparently there is some shortage. Not my usual poison, but just from friends talking I know it's rare.

In Utah, they were like "Did you want some cid?"

I was like "You have it?"

"Sure. You want liquid, or paper?"

"Um, it's Thursday, it's 10 am, and I'm going snowboarding. But thank you for the offer."

We hit the slopes hard. All my friends and I love cutting off the runs into the trees. This works pretty well in So Cal. But as we learned in Utah, it’s a pretty bad idea. We ended up snowboarding to the edge of a ridiculous cliff face. No way to go back. There we were, standing at the edge of a 50 foot cliff.

The only option was to take off the snowboards and hold them as we fell down the face of the mountain.

It was straight out of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

"You want us to jump? But I can’t swim!"

"Ahh don’t worry about that. The fall will probably kill you."

Sliding down the face of the mountain, this huge pile of snow built up around my legs and all around us. There was no stopping until we hit the bottom. Trees whizzed past us, a mini avalanche rolled down with us, and all I could do was laugh at how stupid I am and cling to my snowboard for dear life.

After we had our soft California asses schooled by Snowbird, we got cleaned up and went out. We caught a show with DJ Monk from Rabbit in the Moon. Let me just say, they LOVE drum and Bass in Utah.

At the party, I met the guys that were DJing at the rave in Utah that got busted by the swat team. It was that video that floated around 3 months ago. Great guys. They told me the whole story behind it. Cop dogs attacking people, cameras smashed, assault rifles shoved in the sound guys face, it was a mess.

Saturday it was off to Sundance.

Sundance is a riot. What a great idea.

"Let's get a bunch of people from LA, who can’t dress for warm weather, and have no idea how to drive in the snow, and CRAM 50,000 of them into a sleepy ski town for 10 days of screenings."

We caught a few great short films, and THE SCARIEST HORROR FILM I HAVE EVER SEEN-"THE DECENT".

The Descent is a horror film about a group of women spelunkers getting lost in a cave. I’m not going to give anything away, but I was scared out of my seat for most of the movie. It's one of those rare horror films that never goes supernatural. It takes an unlikely, but still possible premises and runs with it. Go see it when it hits the theaters.

The best short film I saw was a piece of pure propaganda called "HA HA HA America" . It's a slam on how much China gets from us, and how much we get from them. It's subtitled, with badly worded English. Great lines included "China get 210 billion from monkey tail American each year. Now want smile monkey tail? hillbilly America get 34 billion a year from china. That like us sell you plastic lemonade stand for 210 dollar, and agree to you we buy 34 dollar worth of lemonade. We make deal like that all year. Ha Ha Ha, jelly fart!"

Then it was 2 am, a terrifying ride on snow covered roads back to Salt Lake City, and on to a warehouse party. It was nuts. It was like a psychotic high school prom. Tons of wasted 16 year olds running around, crazy security, a 300 pound fat kid having a drunken brawl with 3 100 pound 16 year olds. It was actually one of the best fights I'd seen. They should start a new genre of ultimate fighting featuring drunk teens. You could have as many people on your team as you want, as long as the combined weights were 300 pounds. It was charming in that sort of "oh, this is exactly why "rave" is a four letter word. "

In a bizarre twist, Diesel Boy had played a big gig that night and rolled over to the party. My Utah promoter friends introduced us. I thought to my self "Jesus. What the hell is diesel boy doing at this horrible after party?"

Then I thought to myself, " what am I doing at this horrible after party?!?!?" And then we left.

For more antics, check out www.djwolfie.com. For Comments, email djwolfie@djwolfie.com

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