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Corporate F&cking America
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Thread: Corporate F&cking America

  1. #1
    HQ
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    My peepee is 2 big 2 fail
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    Corporate F&cking America

    So, I'm going to preface this by saying I know I'm a spoiled-ass prima donna at work, but I'm still gonna bitch:

    Recently (the past year or two) we got a new CEO who's a magician when it comes to cutting costs. Yesterday we found out the latest benefit he's cutting is staff in our fitness center. Why this is a big deal: I'm used to paying $8 a month for a gym membership at work. This previously bought me access to the gym with free weights and weight machines, weight lifting/cardio/cross training classes, free fitness assessments (body fat analysis, etc), and expert trainers on site who know their shit.

    Now I won't have to pay any more, but all the classes are gone, no more experts to give advice, no more fitness assessments. At this point, there's really no benefit to me going to this gym, except it's here on site. I'm expecting the majority of the equipment to be broken or dirty in two months.

    Quote Originally Posted by dowNINit
    I can't walk by round up without catching the smell of hot wrangler ball sweat and gun oil.

  2. #2
    Mr. Potato Head Loves You Tortures Dionysos's Avatar
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    Well, that sucks. Sorry to hear it. It sounds like you had a pretty sweet deak going.

    Our CEO is funny... he says NO RAISES because we are hurting for money... but yet the management team can still be taken to Lake Tahoe every 3 months for a week... all expenses paid.
    Quote Originally Posted by Keyser Soze View Post
    With an ass like yours I bet you could fire buck shot with incredible force from it. Why get a gun? Just load your sphincter full of lead.
    Or use those thighs to launch rubber bullets at them, like riot control units do.
    Quote Originally Posted by zymote View Post
    Judging by Karen's legs, I think she could probably outrun just about any crackhead out there and not even break a sweat.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Karen View Post
    Our CEO is funny... he says NO RAISES because we are hurting for money... but yet the management team can still be taken to Lake Tahoe every 3 months for a week... all expenses paid.
    Kind of makes you want to work your way up towards a management position, doesn't it?
    I'm just going for the music..

  4. #4
    Like a pickle in yo butt! Enchilada's Avatar
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    sounds like somebody needs a good dickin.
    Smooth seas make shitty sailors.

  5. #5
    Mr. Potato Head Loves You Tortures Dionysos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GLopez View Post
    Kind of makes you want to work your way up towards a management position, doesn't it?
    Oh hell no. Our CEO is... different. My boss mentioned me moving into a managers position and I told him I would not do it if the CEO was going to be yelling at me like he does the other managers.
    Quote Originally Posted by Keyser Soze View Post
    With an ass like yours I bet you could fire buck shot with incredible force from it. Why get a gun? Just load your sphincter full of lead.
    Or use those thighs to launch rubber bullets at them, like riot control units do.
    Quote Originally Posted by zymote View Post
    Judging by Karen's legs, I think she could probably outrun just about any crackhead out there and not even break a sweat.

  6. #6
    Assrapey Sharkman PETA's Avatar
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    I can take an awful lot of verbal abuse for 6 figures

  7. #7
    Venue is SOLD OUT! Alexis Gold's Avatar
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    yeah that sucks man.

    I know that 2 of my co-workers were FORCED into retirement to cut costs.

    But at least they have a good pension & they having a pretty awesome party in a couple of weeks to celebrate....
    It's not that I'm fabulous, I just really don't give a fuck about being unfabulous.
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  8. #8
    King Douchuous the IV Buzz Killington's Avatar
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    working for yourself ftw!!

    i hated working under people to no end, i miss the 9-5 hours and weekends off but answering to numbnuts that i had no respect for in their position was painful. i worked for ONE person that i knew was going to be something in life but unfortunately the company itself was garbage.


    btw, there is no shame in being a spoiled-ass prima donna, all the best people are.

  9. #9
    I make WTF out of you. BrandonWhat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spicoli View Post
    any itself was garbage.


    btw, there is no shame in being a spoiled-ass prima donna, all the best people are.
    Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, Nicole Ritchie and Britney Spears are among the best people?

    Have some vengeance for Mr. Sympathy and let me share your pain with myself.

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